Reasons Your Favourite Team Isn't Making The Playoffs

Leafs Head Coach Randy Carlyle going for the classic look
Every year there are a number of teams who do not make the NHL playoffs.  For some, April is when the season ends every year.  For others, it's becoming a new tradition.  In Montreal, it's the end of the world.

For every team there are some tell-a-tale signs as to why their not in the race for the cup.  I've taken a close look at a few of the teams who won't be making the playoffs this year, and examined why that is the case:

- Your favourite team fired a long time and dedicated American coach.  In his replacement your GM decided to hire a new coach who looks more like Benny Hill mixed with Chief Wiggum, then a serious looking NHL bench boss.

- Your favourite team is made up of a bunch of young kids, who decided it would be a better idea to miss the playoffs than risk having embarrassing facial hair for the spring.

- You cheer for the Florida Panthe......wait, what, really??

- Your favourite team is still the Atlanta Thrashers.

- The players on your favourite team were too busy during games trying to figure out if they look better in the Kings purple or black uniform, or the Rangers blue.

- You cheer for the New York Islanders.

- Your star player and captain won't leave your franchise in order to begin a rebuild.  He also plays with Matt Stajan and Lee Stempniak...

- You cheer for a team with Joe Thornton on the roster.

- Your favourite teams top paid sniper is given roughly 3.5 million a season per goal.

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We are fucked