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Monday, April 2, 2012

Vitale Is My Hero

The last 5 minutes of yesterday's Flyers vs Penguins game might have been the most interesting and entertaining hockey action I have seen all year.  This could also be due to the fact I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan.

If you missed yesterdays broadcast on NBC, then shame on you.  It all started with Luke Schenn's twin robot cyborg taking a cheap shot at Sidney Crosby from behind.  We have to admit, it was awesome. Just last Thursday it was the same twin robot cyborg character trying to take on Dion Phaneuf in behind the Leafs bench late in a game.  There's something about cheap shots late in a game that fuels this weird robot creature, but that's not important.

Joe Vitale's awesome hit is important.  As I'm sitting here at my luxurious AHF offices, writing this piece, it appears that Danny Briere is going to be missing sometime from action.  Vitale destroyed Briere in the neutral zone with a clean hit that unleashed mayhem, violence, blood, yelling, and yes, even Hulk Hogan.

By now you're are probably tired of reading about how awesome I think Joe Vitale is for starting this yesterday afternoon, so I'm going to break down my reaction in point form (as per the usual AHF lazy blogger format)  

Note: times may not be correct due to the awesome nature of this event, and my inability to read clocks during such awesome times...

3:05 PM- Robot Cyborg cross checks Crosby from behind to the ice.  Collectively, the AHF team holds their breaths, and waits for him to lay motionless, waking up to a hot sweat and screaming David Steckel's name.

3:06 PM- Crosby begins to chirp the robot cyborg, Schenn.  It's mildly amusing, and kind of cute really.  Pierre McGuire has removed his pants in it's 'awesomeness' by this point.

3:11 PM- Joe Vitale hits Daniel Briere mid ice, sending the players into a line brawl.  I edge forward on the sofa and look on.

3:12PM- Peter Laviolette has jumped up onto the boards and is screaming at the Penguins coaching staff for putting their 'goons' out on the ice.  At this point I have edged even further to the end of the sofa cushion in amazement.

Seconds Later- The moment when Pierre McGuire realized that you cannot give colour commentary on a fight happening between the boards.  However, this was only due to the fact he didn't know where Laviolette played his junior career..

3:13 PM- I send out my first AHF Tweet of the event happening before my eyes.  The cushion on my sofa has lost its purpose, as I am now in full squat position in front of the tv.

3:14 PM- Just as the brawl begins to simmer down, there is some pushing and shoving in tight to the boards, and mayhem breaks out again.  By this time Laviolette has stepped down from the boards, but we are blessed that Pierre McGuire's mic is still shut off.

3:15PM- The realization hits the AHF team.  What if a fan got in on this action?  The beautiful moment when a fan enters the fight is something words cannot describe.  I even sent out a tweet saying some fan needs to get involved in this fight, and make my day.  And then, Hulk Hogan Junior appears.

3:16 PM- Scotty Hartnell and Hulk Hogan Junior start taunting each other from the bench area.  Tears of old time hockey joy are streaming down the bright blazer Don Cherry is probably wearing at home.

3:18 PM- The brawl is over, both benches are basically empty, and that was probably the best 15 minutes of NHL action that any Montreal fan has witnessed all season.  

You can the entire event in its awesome glory here:

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