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Friday, March 16, 2012

Ripping The Ottawa Senators

Using your name as a logo is so original and creative, Ottawa 
Did you know the Habs have moved up into 14th place in the East?  How dare you lose to us, Ottawa!  Suddenly I can see the playoffs off in the horizon.  Much like how Sarah Palin can see Russia from her home.

With a 0.04% chance of making the playoffs it's hard to find anything funny or humorous these days.  Being a Montreal fan this past season has given me many hockey insecurities.  So, what do people with insecurities do when they're feeling down?  Make fun of others.

In honor of our home and home with Ottawa, here are some great things about Senators history that make me feel good inside as a Montreal fan:

June 2007: In the dying moments of the second period in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals, Daniel Alfredsson decided to wire the puck straight at Scott Niedermayer.  Whether it was done out of frustation, anger, or just plain fatigue, it was awesome.  Alfredsson isn't that type of player though. Alfredsson is more likely to hit someone, and then quickly apologize for the bump along the boards.  Alfredsson was merely trying to show off his Knuckle Puck style, so that the Ducks GM would acquire him mid game. Unfortunately, Pierre Gauthier was not GM of the Senators at the time.      

1993 NHL Entry Draft: With their first overall pick the Ottawa Senators selected Alexandre Daige.  His highest ever recorded points in an NHL season? 51.  Drafted after Daige was Chris Pronger, and Rob Niedermayer.  Pronger and Niedermayer have combined for roughly 1,100 points over their careers, and the sad thing is that Pronger is only a defence man.  No punch line needed.   

Multiple Occasions: As someone whose closest NHL arena is Scotia Bank Place, there have been more than a few road trips to games that involved drinking. For example: that time I got moved out of the kids section, that time I bought tickets from a scalper for way UNDER face value before the game even began, that time I was checked for ID 3 times before getting back to our seat with a round of beers, that time I spent more on beer than the price of the ticket to get in, the list goes on and on.

Wade Redden: After the 2006 playoffs the Senators had to make up their mind, were they keeping Redden, or Chara.  In the end they decided they would keep Redden, who had the better season the past year.  Chara went onto be a Norris Trophy winner, and captain of an All Star team this past season.  As for Redden, he moved on to New York, did some coke, disappeared into the AHL, and was never heard of again.  So all in all, one of the greatest moves in Senators history.

Goalie and Coach Graveyard: The Ottawa Senators ruin more NHL goalies and coaches than any other team in the league.  Some of the goalies on this list were top notch, but after leaving Ottawa their careers took a major turn for the worse. Here's a short list of a few:
- Ron Tugnutt
- Damian Rhodes
- Tom Barrasso
- Ray Emery
- Martin Gerber
- Dominik Hasek
- Pascal Leclaire

And coaches.  In the last eight years can you guess how many coaches the Sens have had? SEVEN:
- Jacques Martin
- Bryan Murray
- John Paddock
- Bryan Murray (again)
- Craig Hartsburg
- Cory Clouston
- Paul MacLean

There...now I feel better.  Sens fans feel free to cross your arms and leave AHF with slight emotion.  Just try it... once...

Game time is 7 pm on CBC.

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