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Monday, March 12, 2012

Other Ryan Miller Complaints

Multi-Millionnaire, or homeless Sabres Fan? 
Tonight the Habs take on the Buffalo Sabres in what has become a pointless game in all regards.

We're not going to make the playoffs, that was determined in December.  We're not going to draft Yakupov, that was determined by this mini winning streak.

Since tonight's game is totally pointless, and there really is no reason to keep watching the Habs games this season, I thought it might be timely to make fun of Ryan Miller.  He deserves it, and he plays for one of the most boring teams in the Eastern Conference.

I sent in a top secret reporter to spy on Miller over the course of the past few weeks.  Here is a few of the things this top secret reporter overheard Miller saying:

"Hey guys, from now on I'm controlling the music in the dressing room pre-game.  Only Three Days Grace and Simple Plan songs on your iPod's will be allowed. "

"Vanek gets paid 7.1 million!?! That's way more than me, and I'm a Vezina and Olympic MVP!  That's gutless...totally gutless"

"Whoaaa, guys did you know Grant Fuhr was black?  I'm totally just learning this right now.  I was googling average Buffalo goalies with promising resumes"

"Hey I just stuck around to say... Paul Gaustad should have been the highest paid player on this team!  The fact that he was traded by management shows how much a piece of shit they are.  Like really???  Who needs a 1st round draft pick when you can have a solid 20 point per season guy."

"Why won't my guys come out and back me up on the ice after overtime is finished?  They leave me out there, one on one, for three shooters in a row...."

"My out-of-the-crease style would have totally stopped Hull in '99"

"Hey, you'd dye your hair black and slit your wrists to if you signed a contract to live and play in Buffalo  until 2014"

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