Other Ryan Miller Complaints

By -
Multi-Millionnaire, or homeless Sabres Fan? 
Tonight the Habs take on the Buffalo Sabres in what has become a pointless game in all regards.

We're not going to make the playoffs, that was determined in December.  We're not going to draft Yakupov, that was determined by this mini winning streak.

Since tonight's game is totally pointless, and there really is no reason to keep watching the Habs games this season, I thought it might be timely to make fun of Ryan Miller.  He deserves it, and he plays for one of the most boring teams in the Eastern Conference.

I sent in a top secret reporter to spy on Miller over the course of the past few weeks.  Here is a few of the things this top secret reporter overheard Miller saying:

"Hey guys, from now on I'm controlling the music in the dressing room pre-game.  Only Three Days Grace and Simple Plan songs on your iPod's will be allowed. "

"Vanek gets paid 7.1 million!?! That's way more than me, and I'm a Vezina and Olympic MVP!  That's gutless...totally gutless"

"Whoaaa, guys did you know Grant Fuhr was black?  I'm totally just learning this right now.  I was googling average Buffalo goalies with promising resumes"

"Hey I just stuck around to say... Paul Gaustad should have been the highest paid player on this team!  The fact that he was traded by management shows how much a piece of shit they are.  Like really???  Who needs a 1st round draft pick when you can have a solid 20 point per season guy."

"Why won't my guys come out and back me up on the ice after overtime is finished?  They leave me out there, one on one, for three shooters in a row...."

"My out-of-the-crease style would have totally stopped Hull in '99"

"Hey, you'd dye your hair black and slit your wrists to if you signed a contract to live and play in Buffalo  until 2014"

Comments

Post a Comment

POPULAR

This Is It

By -
Image
LOSER Tonight and this afternoon will be an outright cluster&@$^.  I can't even begin to try to calculate who we are going to end up playing in the first round.  If we lose tonight it will be the Leafs, simple as that.  If we win and Boston loses their game to Washington then things will get interesting tomorrow night in the finale game of Ottawa vs Boston.  So basically win for drama and lose to play the Leafs.   My heart says lose and sweep the Leafs out in the first round for what would be revenge for every Saturday night game of my childhood living in Ontario.  My sensible self says win and end up playing an easier team seeded way lower than us.  It is going to be an interesting 40 hours ahead.  Oh, and if we draw the Sens in the first round I'd be all over some tickets, so kinda hoping for that too. Gametime is 7PM on CBC. Go Habs Go!
Read more

Sens Habs playoff Extravaganza

By -
Image
Sens Habs playoff series starts tonight. Cool stuff. All anyones talking about is the whole EK vs PK thing. EK who controls the game with his skating and smart plays vs PK who chews up penalty kills and spits them out (Chris Phillips has more even strength points than Subban this season). We shall see what happens. Can Latendresse wake the fuck up against his former french team? Apparently Michalek admitted he isnt playing at 100% so thats not good. How do I think this series plays out? I think Ottawa has a very balanced and sizeable defence and that they will be able to control the Habs small forwards. I think the Senators forwards will need to get some ugly goals and Price and then protect leads the rest of the way. Its gonna come down to special teams really. Both teams struggling a bit on the PP recently and advanced stats suggest that the Senators league best PK is the result of good luck while the Habs shitty PK is the result of bad luck. We shall see. Habs draw alot of p
Read more

Sens Recap: Trustache and Corey Perry

By -
Image
The Macleanian One aka The Paulrus aka Mike Watson look-a-lik e strikes again with a perfect game plan resulting in a 3-2 win for the Sens. Randy Carlisle has his Leafs playing well right now despite having Ben Scrivens as their number 1 goaltender. Carlisle has his teams play a dump and chase style game with an aggressive forecheck. This style matches up perfectly for the puck possession Senators. Oh your going to give the puck to us? thanks we enjoy having control of the puck. The leafs couldn't really get anything going all night because they couldnt get control of the puck in the Sens zone. How else did Maclean out coach Carlisle? He created a line of Greening-Zibanejad-Condra that scored all 3 goals and combined for 7 points in the game. Greening has spent much of the season on a checking line with Smith and Neil but was ill suited for that style of play. With his new line, they controlled the flow of the game and created scoring chances by driving the net. Case in point
Read more