Other Ryan Miller Complaints

By -
Multi-Millionnaire, or homeless Sabres Fan? 
Tonight the Habs take on the Buffalo Sabres in what has become a pointless game in all regards.

We're not going to make the playoffs, that was determined in December.  We're not going to draft Yakupov, that was determined by this mini winning streak.

Since tonight's game is totally pointless, and there really is no reason to keep watching the Habs games this season, I thought it might be timely to make fun of Ryan Miller.  He deserves it, and he plays for one of the most boring teams in the Eastern Conference.

I sent in a top secret reporter to spy on Miller over the course of the past few weeks.  Here is a few of the things this top secret reporter overheard Miller saying:

"Hey guys, from now on I'm controlling the music in the dressing room pre-game.  Only Three Days Grace and Simple Plan songs on your iPod's will be allowed. "

"Vanek gets paid 7.1 million!?! That's way more than me, and I'm a Vezina and Olympic MVP!  That's gutless...totally gutless"

"Whoaaa, guys did you know Grant Fuhr was black?  I'm totally just learning this right now.  I was googling average Buffalo goalies with promising resumes"

"Hey I just stuck around to say... Paul Gaustad should have been the highest paid player on this team!  The fact that he was traded by management shows how much a piece of shit they are.  Like really???  Who needs a 1st round draft pick when you can have a solid 20 point per season guy."

"Why won't my guys come out and back me up on the ice after overtime is finished?  They leave me out there, one on one, for three shooters in a row...."

"My out-of-the-crease style would have totally stopped Hull in '99"

"Hey, you'd dye your hair black and slit your wrists to if you signed a contract to live and play in Buffalo  until 2014"

Comments

Post a Comment

POPULAR

We are fucked

By -
Image
As my friend AngryHabsFan eluded to already, yesterday was the end of the world as we know it for Sens fans. Matt Cooke's skate caught Karlsson in the Achilles tendon last night on a scuffle in the corner. First off don't even think that this was Matt Cooke being a dirty player and that he did this on purpose. It was just one of those freak plays that happen. No timeline has been given yet for Karlsson's return but I think its safe to say that he won't be back this season. Hopefully he can return from this injury and still be a great player. We already have Michalek playing on robotic knees so hopefully EK can get a hold of Milo's doctor. Speaking of Michalek he also disappeared before the game last night with a mysterious undisclosed injury. No word on what exactly is the extent of his injury yet. So without Spezza, Michalek, Karlsson and Jared Cowen I think its safe to say we are fucked and need to focus on shipping out Gonchar at the deadline and going
Read more

AHF NHL Playoff Bracket

By -
Image
With the March Madness NCAA Basketball tournament starting up tomorrow, people all over North America and abroad are filling out their brackets.  Even President Obama gets in on the action each year. Though my knowledge in sports lies pretty much in the world of hockey, I've been attempting brackets for the past six years.  This year my final four are: Kentucky, Syracuse, Missouri, and North Carolina. When it comes to the NHL nobody gets excited and fills out an NHL playoff bracket.  I am here to change that today. Since my creative juices are lacking in humour during this dismal time in Montreal, I thought I'd throw together an NHL bracket of my own based on the NHL Playoffs matches that would be happening if the season ended last night. Please feel free to rip me apart in the comment section. 1st Round  East: New York Rangers vs Washington Capitals Winner: New York Rangers in 5 Boston Bruins vs Ottawa Senators Winner: Boston Bruins in 5 Florida Panthers vs New J
Read more